It is always wonderful to personally select and give gifts to those we care about and have them truly appreciate it. It can certainly be a challenge deciding whether or not to give gifts, and if so, what type of gift is appropriate to give. Nobody likes to show up to any special occasion empty-handed. But if there is ever a request for “no gifts please”, then it is never appropriate to bring a gift.

While it is never a faux pas to throw an anniversary party, they are generally thrown for the first, fifth, tenth, twenty-fifth and fiftieth anniversary, and it is perfectly correct for them to be thrown by the couple themselves. And unless the invitation expresses “no gifts please”, then gifts should be brought to the anniversary couple. After everyone has arrived or after the dinner, the couple should open their gifts with their guests gathered around.

Did you know that there are “common” gifts to give on certain anniversary milestones?
Years           Item
1                  Paper or plastics
2                  Cotton
3                  Leather
4                  Silk
5                  Wood
6                  Iron
7                  Copper
8                  Electrical Appliances
9                  Pottery
10                Aluminum
15                Ivory
20                China
25                Silver
30                Pearls
35                Coral/Jade
40                Ruby
45                Sapphire
50                Gold
55                Emerald
60/70/75       Diamond

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Everybody, every year, celebrates a birthday. To the dismay of some, it’s unavoidable. Although many people choose not to recognize their annual birthdays, the birth of a baby is universally noteworthy and celebrated.

~Showers~
A Baby Shower is meant to literally shower the baby with the necessities and is typically thrown before the baby arrives so that the gifts can be used right away. This means that a gift must accompany you if you attend the shower. It is customary for the mother-to-be to register for particular items that the baby will need and it is preferred that guests purchase the shower gifts from this list. Not only does this provide an added excitement to the pregnancy, it also allows for the mother to plan for items that will still be needed once the baby arrives.

It is perfectly appropriate to give gifts to the expecting mother as well. These gifts can be in the form of pre- or post- delivery body pampering packages, baby books, homemade treats, lended clothing, and other items that any expecting mother will appreciate.

~Birthstones~
Each month of the year has a particular representing gemstone:
January – Garnet
February – Amethyst
March – Aquamarine
April – Diamond
May – Emerald
June – Pearl
July – Ruby
August – Peridot
September – Sapphire
October – Opal
November – Topaz
December – Turquoise

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The sixteenth birthday tends to be the “graduation” from childhood to adulthood, and so, therefore, is more often celebrated much more elaborately than any other birthday. Gifts for sweet sixteen birthdays are expected, and each invited attendee should take a present. The gifts should be opened at the party. While it may seem that it is a female sanction, it is appropriate for both males and females to celebrate this milestone. These parties can take the theme of a brunch, a swimming party, a theater party, or pretty much anything. Gift suggestions can range from charm bracelets, to books on the recipient’s special interest or hobby, to posters, to music or DVD’s, to perfume, to sports equipment, to video games, to watches, and to a myriad of other personal items.

Flowers may be sent by almost everyone to almost anyone for pretty much any occasion, such as birthdays, weddings, thank-you’s, showers, a hostess gift, and a myriad of others. Flowers are considered by most to be a very thoughtful gift. While some people are constantly sending flowers, others seldom do. Be careful not to assume that we shouldn’t send flowers because we think those we can afford are not good enough. The gesture of a gift is always appreciated, no matter how small.

At times, money is the most welcome present of all, and it may also be an easy way of avoiding the challenge of choosing the perfect gift. There are very few teenagers and elderly who do not favor the idea of a little extra spending cash. And for those who don’t like just handing over cash, a gift certificate to their favorite store may seem a little more personalized.

While retirement parties are usually given by their close associates, it is entirely appropriate for family members or friends to give a party. The retirement gift(s) are typically determined by the company’s policy and can range anywhere from an item that adds to the employee’s hobby collection, to a watch, to engraved pen and pencil sets. Regardless of whether the employee’s years were spent in the mailroom or in management, the gift honors years of service, not a title.

The excitement of moving into a dwelling and making it your own creates a natural eagerness to show it off to others. Since the purpose is to open your home to friends and family, invitations to a housewarming can be sent on informal or commercial fill-in cards, or can be simply a phone call. Guests should bring gifts to the party to congratulate you on your new home. If you are having an open house style party, it is appropriate to open up gifts as you receive them. Or if you have a small intimate group, you can wait and open them all up at the same time in front of your guests. Thank you notes are a definite necessity! As an attendee, your gift does not have to be expensive. But be mindful that your gift is of a permanent use rather than flowers, which will only last a short time.

For the most part, every occasion surrounding a wedding involves gifts. While the following descriptions follow traditional customs, there are many other ethnic groups that follow their own unique customs.

~Engagements~
Engagement parties are given by the engaged couple, and usually, both are expected to be in attendance. Most gifts are designed to be for the bride and are expected mainly from intimate friends, close relatives, and immediate family members. Gifts such as kitchen items, linens, jewelry, and bathroom towels, just to name a few, are conventional engagement gift items that are usually welcomed and appreciated.

~Showers~
Although shower gifts are customary, they need not be elaborate. Proper etiquette requires that shower gifts must be presented to the honoree accompanied by a card, and then opened at the shower. If the invitation specifies a particular theme, then the gift should be purchased within the theme as it will conform to the wishes and needs of the bride.

~The Ceremony~
In previous times, it used to be considered obligatory to send a gift if you received an invitation to a wedding, even if you couldn’t attend. But in recent years, invitation lists have morphed into entire lists of acquaintances, not thinking about the obligation they impose. While a gift may always be sent whether or not you receive an invitation, if you are not an intimate friend of the bride and groom or of their families and you are not invited to the reception, you need not send a gift. However, the more personal the invitation, the greater the obligation is to send a gift. Keep in mind that a wedding announcement is not an invitation, and carries no obligation for gifts at all.

If the bride and groom have registered for their gifts, it is wise to purchase from their registry, or at least review it in order to get a better idea of their taste and needs. You have no obligation to purchase from their registry, especially if there is nothing on the list that fits within your financial abilities. In this case, by reviewing the registry, you can still purchase a gift within your means and have a good idea of the needs of the bride and groom.